6 ways you can move from stressed to happy about money
Dec 21, 2020
Has payday become an event in your life? A happy time when you have the freedom to spend? Maybe you breath a sign of relief and feel successful managing short term expenses for two more weeks?
If this is what money represents—freedom, happiness, and success—then money might be controlling you instead of you controlling it.
Would it be nice to never have to worry about money again? To be confident that there will always be money in the bank to cover the next bill? And then some?
The way we communicate to ourselves about money can have us experiencing it as either always available, or always lacking. But we have to make some changes to help view money in a positive way.
About nine years back, working as a real estate agent, I was constantly chasing after my next commission cheque. I would check my bank account almost daily to make sure that I was able to pay the bills, juggle the accounts, and pray for my next cheque to come through on time.
It's stressful waiting for that money to come through. The more we need it, the more we worry.
Having consistency in my income throughout the year was unheard of, and that's a real issue with many business owners. The stress that it creates in the slower times makes us desperate to find ways to survive. We panic and spend more money on get-rich-quick tactics, that in the end, provide low results.
This way of living was so frustrating and I couldn't do that anymore. It felt like a constant battle to keep my bank account in the green. The final blow was when I did my year-end accounting and totalled just over $10,000 in interest changes. It became urgent to create a consistent income to improve my cash flow.
My money worries were running my life, and I was making bad decisions because of it.
"As long as you see money as a scarce resource, you will continually inconvenience yourself in order to get it." Michael Neill, author and success coach.
Many of us have been raised experiencing the big spend on payday. The first and 15th of the month are when the banks were busiest. We'd load up on groceries, and make special trips to pay the bills. It was an event where our parents went from worry to relief.
Looking back at my childhood, this was normal. This was how money was handled and decisions were dependent on when the money came in.
Between paydays if I asked for something other than a necessity, my mom would say, "Money doesn't grow on trees." Then when the money came in, she would write out cheques for the bills and then I'd hear, "easy come, easy go," as the last of the money was spent.
Those beliefs about money stuck with me over the years and that's how I related to money.
Robin Sharma, in his book The 5AM Club refers to this as money scars—"programs hidden deep within our subconscious that were placed there, unknowingly, by the messages from our parents and the teaching of other powerful childhood influencers."
Whenever I told myself that money doesn't grow on trees, it would have me believe that money is limited and the bank account won't be replenished. So I'd be continuously hunting for the next sale to make sure I had money for the next bill that came along. This panicking would distract me from the good strategies I already had in place to create income.
Once I received the next cheque I would have a list of things to buy. Soon enough that money would be gone, and it would leave my bank account as fast as it come in—easy come, easy go.
What if we can change those messages around money? To no longer be controlled by our thoughts around money, but be in control of the money coming in and out of our life?
Instead of thinking that money is limited, begin to think of money as constantly flowing in. And instead of money being spent as soon as we receive it, think of money being there when we need it.
We shift our attention from money to opportunity.
By changing the way we view money—always flowing in and always there when you need it—doesn't instantly put cash in the bank. What it does is it takes the attention off of lack of money and lessens the control it has on us. This relieves the stress and we begin to see opportunities that create money.
With the stress lifted we're more in the moment and our mind is clear to see potential for new opportunity. We hear words that open doors to our next client, and being present makes us more approachable and engaging.
When money was controlling me, I missed so many opportunities for new clients. I would be in this cloud of worry and my mind was looking for the next sale, while the next opportunity was right in front of me. I was just too consumed with thoughts of how I'm going to pay the next bill.
This worry and stress was picked up by those around me. This would create a feeling of uneasiness and concern in others, making it hard for them to trust me.
To go from being stressed about money to being content and fulfilled, I made these six changes for how I related to money. I've passed these onto my clients and they have also seen a shift in their income and happiness.
- Start viewing money as a continuous flow, because it is! As long as we have a job, or a business there's the opportunity for money to flow in.
- Think of money as an unlimited supply—as long as the government keeps printing money, we'll never run out. There's plenty to go around!
- Have money surround you. I have a clear jar with change in it, and always have coins at the bottom of my purse or in my pocket, as evidence to remind me that I have money. There's a lot to be said about placing a dish at the door to drop your pocket change.
- Start to see opportunity by being present in your life—be in the moment and not in your head. Don't let an opportunity pass you by because you have your head down while worrying about money. Opportunity comes in various ways—a new client, a better job, and gifts to get you through the tough times.
- Realize the abundance we already have in our life—buying more things won't make us happy, but gratitude will promote happiness. Be grateful for the people and experiences we have in our life, they are far more valuable than possessions.
- Look for opportunity, not a paycheque—how can we help someone to make their day better? Reciprocity is a wonderful thing to experience. Soon enough people will be helping us in return.
The way we think about money has a huge impact on our success and how much money we maintain in our bank account. Once we change our relationship with money, we'll begin to notice how consistent our income has become. And how our life has shifted to feelings of happiness, freedom and success.
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How can Success Coaching assist you with your goals?
Christine Hourd, Associate Certified Coach and owner of The Success Model, works with clients to help them reach their goals more rapidly. By improving how they communicate with themselves and others they more easily remove the roadblocks that impede success in their personal and professional life. Book an appointment to discuss how success coaching can benefit you.