How Successful Leaders Can Safely Speak Out Amongst Critics

A common fear for successful leaders is the anticipation of hearing from critics, especially after you express your opinion, step into the role of a thought leader, give advice, comment on a post, or be interviewed as an expert.

Because of this you may have the tendency to hold back what you want to say, or stay small, or safe so that you won’t have to open yourself up to that criticism.

Today, let’s look at criticism differently and how it can be of great value to you, in your personal and professional life. As well, what's behind those responses and how to gain value from it. 

 Why Is Criticism Delivered So Negatively

Criticism is a source of valuable information that allows you to grow personally and professionally, gain more credibility, and fine tune your expertise. Although, you may often cringe at the sight of it, and get defensive when you receive comments that aren't positive. 

When someone gives you feedback they’re doing it for a reason. But their feedback can be received as negative because of their emotionally charged reaction to your message. Instead of taking the time to formulate a clear question, or articulating their point of view, they may lash out at you. This is mostly because you connected with them on a personal level and that made them aware of something they're dissatisfied with, or it conflicts with their beliefs. 

4 Reasons People Lash Out At You Because of What You Said

If you determine why they're compelled to comment, then you can take a potentially negative situation and turn it into insight that will help you improve.

Here are four reasons people provide feedback:

  1. They’re seeking more clarity. What you said wasn’t enough detail for them to make a decision about what to do with your information. They relate to your message, but need more direction or detail to help with the next step. Therefore, they're frustrated.
  2. What you said doesn’t align with their beliefs. They come to the table with different information and experiences, that to them are true and familiar. When you say something that isn’t in alignment with their beliefs, they disagree with what you said, and want to challenge you.
  3. They feel dismissed and not important. One of the biggest human needs is to feel important to someone else. If someone feels that this need isn’t being met, they’ll speak loudly, and say things to gain attention so they feel important and noticed. 
  4. Your success is a reflection of them. They see you as a success and start to compare their level of success to yours. You may have reminded them that they haven’t achieved what they wanted to, and this makes them feel like a failure. So instead of building you up and supporting you, they choose to bring you down to make them feel better about themselves and to look successful.

 4 Questions to Ask Yourself to Gain Benefit From Negative Feedback

When you receive feedback ask these questions before responding:

  1. What is this person hoping to achieve by sending this message?
  2. Where can I be more clear in my communication?
  3. What can I learn from the message that’s being conveyed?
  4. How can we use this information to grow or improve?

Feedback is like gold, and if you can see it as valuable instead of judgement, then you can use it to your benefit. Receiving feedback is a gift from someone else, who cares enough to tell you that something is wrong. It tells you what you’re doing right and where you can improve.

I would much rather get negative feedback than no feedback at all

By communicating a more defined message, you're able to generate valuable feedback. If you remain vague and safe in your messages, then you confuse the listener and don’t provide any value. You fail to connect.

People want to experience your message, they want to relate to it, and to you. Don’t deny them that opportunity. Create an authentic experience that'll connect you to your audience on a deeper level, and then you’ll be seen as a more transparent leader.

Please leave a comment or share this with others who would find it useful. 

Christine Hourd, ACC is a Certified Professional Success and Leadership Coach, located in Calgary, Alberta. She works with people who want to change their mindset in favour of enjoying more positive experiences. Find out how success coaching can help you.

How can Success and Leadership Coaching assist you with your personal and professional goals?

In every area of your life there is a need for leadership skills and the desire to succeed. When you hone your leadership skills—soft skills, communication, handling conflict, etc.—you'll become more marketable, confident in your abilities, able to take on more responsibility, and become happier. A skill that will make your life easier and more enjoyable. 

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