Success Blog

Moving you past the roadblocks to better communication and connection

BUSINESS | PERSONAL | RELATIONSHIPS 

 

One mistake most make in our prime when we tackle ambitious goals

Why do we fear those largely ambitious goals when we've graduated past our 30s or 40s? Getting an education in a new field or starting a business seems too lofty of a goal to tackle, and completely unreasonable to many.

That's what I thought too!

Now in my 50s I've decided to end this ridiculousness of being too old, or that four years of an academic commitment is half of my life I have left!  As I look back, those four years have repeated itself several times. And guess what? I'm still here.

This kept me from taking the first step

Much of what derailed this ambitious goal was me focusing on the end result. There were so many stories I told myself of how this would consume my life, and four years is a long time! What more can I do with that time?

This kept me from taking the first step. I had the end goal in mind but no idea if I could handle the hard work and effort required in between to make it happen. Committing to a dream this big seemed out of my...

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How your unique qualities can make you attractive and still fit in

There are eight characteristics that make a person attractive, and being unique is the third. Although, there's a balance between being unique and fitting in that must be maintained to uphold this healthy identity and be seen as attractive.

There are many influences in our environment that guide us in discovering who we really are—friends, family, teachers, horoscopes, personality test, experts—although, they're not all accurate. They're based on generalizations, or they're derived from another person's experience and/or fears. 

We're the only ones who can define our true uniqueness. And we need to be clear on our identity in order to make ourselves feel unique—to be an individual, independent and special. To feel like an important speck on this massive planet. 

But then there's this pull to be part of a group, a collective, or a community. We must have this connection with others to satisfy our need to feel important and to...

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How to look confident while responding to critics and nosy people

How do you respond to negative feedback, criticism, and nosy people? Most of us, and most times, we want to tell them where to go. Although, it's a bit tougher when it's your boss, coworker, customer, relative or a friend. So we resort to biting our tongue, ignoring them, or changing the subject.

Not anymore!

In this blog, we’ll cover 3 areas of communication that will help you look confident when responding to the uncomfortable or awkward conversations.

  1. How to prepare your mind for difficult conversations with those in your life
  2. Restore your power when face to face with negative feedback 
  3. Critical responses to overcome obstacles and boost your confidence

How to prepare your mind for difficult conversations

  1. Keep yourself from allowing past experiences to predict how the conversation will go.

    People change every moment—even slightly—and learn something new within those moments. Realistically, we can’t expect the same conversation to go in the same...
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3 ways communication tests love and respect in a relationship, and how to improve it

When in a relationship we sometimes wonder if it's going as well as it should. The newness has warn off a bit and now we're feeling like it's settling. But we're not sure what it's settling into, and that the love and respect you were first shown still exists.

As we settle into a relationship, communication can start to get lazy. We don't work as hard to be interested in the other, and fail to pay attention to the changes we're each experiencing as we get older. 

Then months or years go by and we feel like we're less connected. Conversations are reduced to small talk and there seems to be this lack of interest in each other. The relationship has settled into a comfy existence. 

Here are three ways that communication can tell us if we're still respected and loved in a relationship, and yes, that it hasn't settled!

  1. Your partner allows you to finish what you want to say without interruption. Many times people will be so anxious to give...
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How to gain value from negative feedback

 

A common fear is the anticipation of negative feedback, especially after we express our opinion, step into the role of a thought leader, give advice, comment on a post, or be interviewed as an expert. Because of this we may have the tendency to hold back what we want to say, or stay small, or safe so that we won’t have to open ourselves up to that criticism.

Today, let’s look at feedback differently and how it can be of great value to us, in our personal and professional life. We'll look at what's behind those responses and how to gain value from it. 

Feedback is a source of valuable information that allows us to grow personally and professionally, gain more credibility, and fine tune our expertise. Although, we often cringe at the sight of it and get defensive when we receive comments that aren't positive. 

When someone gives us feedback they’re doing it for a reason. But their feedback can be mistaken for criticism because...

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How to build healthy relationships with these 6 steps

 
 
We create cycles in our life that have no benefit to us, yet we keep repeating the same situation over and over. Many of those cycles relate to how we communicate with others and they keep us from enjoying healthy relationships. 
 
In this blog we're going to briefly explore the negative cycles that we allow, and then I'll share six steps to stop those cycles so we can move forward with a more fulfilling life. 
 
Many of us don't even realize that we participate in cycles, yet once we become aware of our behaviour we'll see where these cycles are present.
 
Have you experienced the same unfortunate ending to your personal relationships? Or maybe you haven't noticed that you're dating the same type of person, or each relationship lasts only three months, or three dates! 
 
Perhaps the same debate with your partner keeps coming up, and never gets resolved. We spin our wheels and don't...
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How to become so fierce that we fight for what we want

 

When we begin to focus on ourselves we have this feeling of importance and value that lifts us. Although, paying attention isn't enough when striving to reach our goals. The next step is to become fierce with our goals and really fight for what we want.

Although, myself included, we often take the easy road and settle. What does settle mean? We give up and rationalize that this isn't important, or we didn't really want it. And yet we did. We have that sinking feeling which can translate into, I'm not important. And that kinda sucks...

In this blog I'm going to address what being fierce is and how we can add it to our life to really support our goals—and achieve them.

Think back to a time when we stopped ourselves from being okay with something and stood up for ourselves to get what we wanted. It could be a job, a relationship, a promotion, or an opportunity of some sort. 

If you don't connect to that experience, that's okay. That will come to you, because...

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How to Avoid that Awkward Moment of Drawing a Blank in a Conversation

If while in a conversation we struggle with thinking of that right word or phrase, at the right time... or the term of that... "what-do-you-call-it?", this can be very frustrating. But there's a small shift we can make to avoid this awkward moment and have us respond more effectively and intelligently. 

In this blog, I'll provide strategies to help us overcome this awkwardness and communicate our worth in front of those we want to impress

When having a conversation with another, we might be challenged to come up with the right response, and draw a blank. We frantically search our mind for the term, or detail, only to come up empty. That right word is somewhere in the depths of our mind—on the tip of our tongue, but refuses to come out when we want it most. The frustration we feel makes finding those words even worse.

Then finally... after an hour, or even 10 minutes, those thoughts suddenly appear. Unfortunately,...

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5 Ways that will Empower You when Feeling You Lost Control

 

Much stress in our life is because we feel we lost control—someone else is steering our ship and this makes us feel powerless. In this blog, I'll show you five activities you can implement now, to empower you and reduce that feeling you lost control.

Just the thought of someone else telling us what we can and can't do may make us angry, and then we immediately conclude that our freedom is at risk. 

When we have the feeling that we lost control of our life we try to compensate for this lack of control by preying on those who will allow it. The unfortunate consequence is that controlling someone else can deteriorate that relationship. Trust is at stake, and they'll distance themselves.

Eventually we'll begin to lose the people that are important in our life. 

That feeling of losing control, is just that—a feeling. Thoughts of what could be, lean towards negative ruminating when we feel our freedom is...

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5 Ways that'll Get You Noticed by People you Want to Impress

 

Tell me more about yourself? This is a challenging question for many, especially when we're sitting across from a person we want to impress. What to say, or not to say? How much detail is too much detail? What answer are they looking for?

By the end of this blog, you'll have a good idea of what to say to a person you want to impress so their attention is on you. As well, some activities to have that person remember you long after the conversation is over. 

As we sit across from the one we want to impress, and listening to thoughts in our head of what to say, we miss out on the nuances of the conversation. Then instead of adding to the conversation we end up detracting it. The responses we give maybe agreeable, general and vague, and not contributing much at all. 

By being quiet or reserved you may come across as hiding something, or uncertain, or indecisive, or uninterested. This signal can have the other person wondering if they can trust you, or...

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