Success Blog

Moving you past the roadblocks to better communication and connection

BUSINESS | PERSONAL | RELATIONSHIPS 

 

One mistake most make in our prime when we tackle ambitious goals

Why do we fear those largely ambitious goals when we've graduated past our 30s or 40s? Getting an education in a new field or starting a business seems too lofty of a goal to tackle, and completely unreasonable to many.

That's what I thought too!

Now in my 50s I've decided to end this ridiculousness of being too old, or that four years of an academic commitment is half of my life I have left!  As I look back, those four years have repeated itself several times. And guess what? I'm still here.

This kept me from taking the first step

Much of what derailed this ambitious goal was me focusing on the end result. There were so many stories I told myself of how this would consume my life, and four years is a long time! What more can I do with that time?

This kept me from taking the first step. I had the end goal in mind but no idea if I could handle the hard work and effort required in between to make it happen. Committing to a dream this big seemed out of my...

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How your unique qualities can make you attractive and still fit in

There are eight characteristics that make a person attractive, and being unique is the third. Although, there's a balance between being unique and fitting in that must be maintained to uphold this healthy identity and be seen as attractive.

There are many influences in our environment that guide us in discovering who we really are—friends, family, teachers, horoscopes, personality test, experts—although, they're not all accurate. They're based on generalizations, or they're derived from another person's experience and/or fears. 

We're the only ones who can define our true uniqueness. And we need to be clear on our identity in order to make ourselves feel unique—to be an individual, independent and special. To feel like an important speck on this massive planet. 

But then there's this pull to be part of a group, a collective, or a community. We must have this connection with others to satisfy our need to feel important and to...

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6 ways you can move from stressed to happy about money

self-improvement Dec 21, 2020
 
Has payday become an event in your life? A happy time when you have the freedom to spend? Maybe you breath a sign of relief and feel successful managing short term expenses for two more weeks? 
 
If this is what money represents—freedom, happiness, and success—then money might be controlling you instead of you controlling it. 
 
Would it be nice to never have to worry about money again? To be confident that there will always be money in the bank to cover the next bill? And then some?
 
The way we communicate to ourselves about money can have us experiencing it as either always available, or always lacking. But we have to make some changes to help view money in a positive way. 
 
About nine years back, working as a real estate agent, I was constantly chasing after my next commission cheque. I would check my bank account almost daily to make sure that I was able to pay the bills, juggle the...
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How better decisions are made by doing these three things

When have you made some of the worst decisions in your life? This can be committing to something you shouldn't have, or acting out in ways that isn't like your normal behaviour. 

We all have those moments when we give into a request and say yes, instead of no. Or say or do something that we wish we hadn't. Then have to sort out the mess the next day, or try to figure out how our schedule will handle this new commitment.

Making decisions is one of the most important skills in our life. One we practice over and over again, starting from the time we're born, and we progressively getting better at strengthening this skill as we mature.

But sometimes we have set backs and make bad decisions that aren't good for us. Most of these regrettable decisions can often be linked to our state of being at that time. We're tired, upset, intoxicated, overly optimistic, stressed, lonely, etc.  

When we're in one of these states our awareness is reduced and we're not reflecting...

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Find more opportunities and reduce stress by doing 3 things right now

Have you ever experienced a feeling of being rushed or the need to over multi-task? This is a sign that we've been roped into the fast paced way of living. Don't worry, you're not the only one, we all get lured into this spell bounding hurry up and don't fall behind way of being.

Although, what I would worry about is if we're always in top speed to get ahead or merely to keep up. This can lead to lost opportunities, and more stress that results in reduced productivity and thus, lost income!

But there's a way to get off of this fast paced manic train, and that's by slowing down. Of course, if it was just the act of slowing down there would be far more relaxed and content people out there, and I wouldn't have to talk to you about this. 

The process of slowing down allows you to get further ahead, and also live a more fulfilled life, but it requires self-control. Something many of us have heard of, yet we lack the insight to manage it. 

Having self-control allows for...

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One tool that will have you reply with more confidence

 
In the past, have you responded urgently to a request from your boss, in order to look more valued than your competition? Or quickly responded to a question from an authority figure, to explain your circumstances? 
 
Providing an urgent response can do you more harm than good. It can take you from looking confident and valuable, to looking desperate, and insecure. Ouch!
 
One communication tool that'll make you look and sound confident, is to pause.
 
In this blog, you'll find out how to use this simple tool so that you can elevate your worth at the company, handle awkward questions from accusers, and connect on a deeper level with your spouse. 
 
We have all had that moment in elementary school when the teacher is accusing us of doing something wrong. Right? And when she looks down at us with glaring eyes—since back then we were shorter—we'd panic and try to come up with the best answer...
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How to build healthy relationships with these 6 steps

 
 
We create cycles in our life that have no benefit to us, yet we keep repeating the same situation over and over. Many of those cycles relate to how we communicate with others and they keep us from enjoying healthy relationships. 
 
In this blog we're going to briefly explore the negative cycles that we allow, and then I'll share six steps to stop those cycles so we can move forward with a more fulfilling life. 
 
Many of us don't even realize that we participate in cycles, yet once we become aware of our behaviour we'll see where these cycles are present.
 
Have you experienced the same unfortunate ending to your personal relationships? Or maybe you haven't noticed that you're dating the same type of person, or each relationship lasts only three months, or three dates! 
 
Perhaps the same debate with your partner keeps coming up, and never gets resolved. We spin our wheels and don't...
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How to become so fierce that we fight for what we want

 

When we begin to focus on ourselves we have this feeling of importance and value that lifts us. Although, paying attention isn't enough when striving to reach our goals. The next step is to become fierce with our goals and really fight for what we want.

Although, myself included, we often take the easy road and settle. What does settle mean? We give up and rationalize that this isn't important, or we didn't really want it. And yet we did. We have that sinking feeling which can translate into, I'm not important. And that kinda sucks...

In this blog I'm going to address what being fierce is and how we can add it to our life to really support our goals—and achieve them.

Think back to a time when we stopped ourselves from being okay with something and stood up for ourselves to get what we wanted. It could be a job, a relationship, a promotion, or an opportunity of some sort. 

If you don't connect to that experience, that's okay. That will come to you, because...

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How to Avoid that Awkward Moment of Drawing a Blank in a Conversation

If while in a conversation we struggle with thinking of that right word or phrase, at the right time... or the term of that... "what-do-you-call-it?", this can be very frustrating. But there's a small shift we can make to avoid this awkward moment and have us respond more effectively and intelligently. 

In this blog, I'll provide strategies to help us overcome this awkwardness and communicate our worth in front of those we want to impress

When having a conversation with another, we might be challenged to come up with the right response, and draw a blank. We frantically search our mind for the term, or detail, only to come up empty. That right word is somewhere in the depths of our mind—on the tip of our tongue, but refuses to come out when we want it most. The frustration we feel makes finding those words even worse.

Then finally... after an hour, or even 10 minutes, those thoughts suddenly appear. Unfortunately,...

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5 Ways that will Empower You when Feeling You Lost Control

 

Much stress in our life is because we feel we lost control—someone else is steering our ship and this makes us feel powerless. In this blog, I'll show you five activities you can implement now, to empower you and reduce that feeling you lost control.

Just the thought of someone else telling us what we can and can't do may make us angry, and then we immediately conclude that our freedom is at risk. 

When we have the feeling that we lost control of our life we try to compensate for this lack of control by preying on those who will allow it. The unfortunate consequence is that controlling someone else can deteriorate that relationship. Trust is at stake, and they'll distance themselves.

Eventually we'll begin to lose the people that are important in our life. 

That feeling of losing control, is just that—a feeling. Thoughts of what could be, lean towards negative ruminating when we feel our freedom is...

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