6 Steps to Overcome Commitment Issues and Start Building a Successful Career.
Updated: Jun 13
Do you wonder why you can't keep a job? This maybe more related to the patterns or cycles that you created in your life from commitment issues, rather than being a quitter. To build a successful career you need to deal with the commitment issues that have evolved into behaviour patterns and beliefs that no longer serve you. You're repeating the same situation over and over again, and it's mostly subconsciously done.
How Commitment Issues Disrupt A Successful Career And Other Areas Of Your Life
You might not even realize that you create these patterns, yet once you become aware of your behaviour you'll see where these patterns are present. If you look back at your jobs over the years, what is consistently occurring in them?
You maybe noticing that your employment only lasts three months, or a year.
Before there is an opportunity to get promoted, you leave.
After receiving your first review, that you think didn't go well, you start sending out resumes.
These repetitive situations can be found in you personal and professional relationships, as well. Cycles also occur in relationships with you spouse, parents, children, or at work with our boss, or coworkers. You live by the same assumptions that lead you down a road of repetitive behaviour.
How Assumptions and Fear Of Commitment Are Roadblocks To Success
In most situations, you take great comfort in knowing what the outcome will be, so you can prepare for the future event. That's where assumptions come in. But instead of benefitting you, assumptions can prevent you from solving the issue and moving forward. You assume that the other person will always react in the same manner, or a job will always turn out the same way. These assumptions give you comfort and support your fear of commitment, as you predict the outcome. Although, many times you end up sabotaging something that can be an amazing experience, because of this need for comfort.
6 Steps to Overcome Commitment Issues and Start to Build a Successful Career.
Here are the six steps to be rid of the behaviour patterns associated with the fear of commitment:
1. Expose the Repetitive Behaviour That Keeps You From Committing
This can be anything that you find you’re not progressing with, or it’s having a negative effect on your life. Ask yourself, "Why am I always.... not meeting the right person; getting into fights with my sister; or looking for employment?"
2. Identify The Steps That Lead To Fear Of Commitment
You start a job, and then after the three month review you decide this doesn't have potential, or you get into a disagreement with another employee, and quit.
3. What Assumptions Keep You Committed To The Outcome
Do you strongly believe that "I will never keep a job"? What assumptions are you holding onto and believe they are true?
4. What Are The Consequences Of Continuing This Behaviour Pattern?
For dating, your self-fulfilling prophecy could come true and you'll never find someone. For your relationship with your parents, you maybe missing out on having that support and connection you really want. For employment, the inability to keep a job can hurt your chances down the road with the career you really want, or to finance a loan. Is this what you really want?
5. What Excuses are Holding You Back From Committing?
Describe that moment when you want to throw in the towel and walk away. What are you feeling and what's the excuse you're telling yourself? Like you're feeling "attacked" in the job review, again. Or at three months in, you're finding "deal-breaker" flaws in the person you're dating, again.
6. How to Break The Behaviour Pattern And Be Okay With Commitment
By acknowledging that there needs to be change, shift to discovering what you'd rather experience. You can detail what's important to you before you start your job. Or when you're questioned by your parents, you can hear their questions as a sign of concern rather than judgement. Choose how you want to experience this, and don't let the past events dictate the future.
Cycles are comforting and habit forming. Although, if you recognize earlier on whether this is benefiting you or holding you back, then you can make changes to work in your favour. You can then enjoy steady employment that will bring longterm benefits. That's a good cycle to be in.
Please like if you found this useful and pass onto other who will also benefit. Christine Hourd, ACC is a certified professional success and leadership coach in Calgary, Alberta. She works with business owners and professionals, online and in person, to remove obstacles and create strategies to overcome fears and lead to successfully achieving their goals. Talk to Christine and find out how the Success Mastery Program can help you reach your goals.