One Simple Mistake Made When You Tackle Big Personal Goals
Why do you fear those big personal goals, especially when you've graduated past your 30s or 40s? Getting an education in the field of study we always wanted, or starting a business from our passion, seems too lofty of a goal to tackle, and completely unreasonable to many.
That's what I thought too!
Now in my 50s, I've decided to end this ridiculousness of being too old, and put aside the thoughts that a four year academic commitment takes too much time! As I look back, those four years have repeated itself several times. And guess what? I'm still here, and still wanting to go for it.
Focusing on the End Result Is A Simple Mistake For Reaching Big Personal Goals
Much of what derailed my personal goals was me focusing on the end result. There were so many stories I told myself of how this would consume my life, and four years is a long time! What more can I do with that time?
This kept me from taking the first step. I had the end goal in mind, but no idea if I could handle the hard work and effort required in between to make it happen. Committing to a dream this big seemed out of my reach.
This fear I created kept it a dream, and I became my greatest obstacle.
When Your Beliefs Get In The Way Of Achieving Your Personal Goals
What I chose to commit to had to change in order for me to move forward in my goals. I was focusing on the end result and what sacrifice I had to make to get there. I was so worried about not being able to stick to it. What if I dropped out? What would people think? What if I couldn't complete the program because I couldn't afford it?
Tony Robbins said in his book Awaken the Giant Within, "In order to truly find that inspiration and achieve those impossible goals, we must suspend our belief systems about what we’re capable of achieving."
Many of us cannot picture ourselves in that new role or achieving that goal because of our beliefs. The thoughts you create in your mind drives you back to the safety zone where you're comfortable and puts up barriers to achieving your goal.
How Narrowing the Focus Makes Decisions Clearer
I needed to scale this way back and commit to the first step. Many say it's "baby steps" or "in small doses," either way this narrows down what you need to focus on. And that makes it easier.
Since then, I've lessened that dominating fear and I was able to enrol in a university to earn my BA in Sociology.
I've had several people ask me what I'm going to do with the degree, or what I'll minor in. To that I replied, "I'm just going to focus on the first class and then as I get deeper into it, I'll decide." And that's basically what the university was suggesting. Start with the first course and as you get into it, decisions will become clearer.
When tackling any goals, committing just to the next step makes it much easier to achieve it. This narrowed point to focus on gives you courage to take each step, and then the next.
If you want to strengthen your commitment to achieving your goals, I'm sharing 8 ways to do this!
How Relationship Goals can Benefit from Focusing on Small Steps
I can't help but to equate this to our dating experience. If you focus on the end result of your relationship goals before your first date, then you miss all the nuances in between. Those little moments of learning about each other gives you confidence and the courage to progress.
If you simply commit to the first step of meeting and allowing it all to naturally unfold after "hello," then you can enjoy the journey as you take each step after that. And as you get deeper in... then, start filling in the blanks of where this can go.
A Major Obstacle for Starting a Business From Your Passion
The same goes for starting a business from your passion. Many times we make mistakes in our judgement because we're so focused on the end result. It's exciting to finally have this bullet-proof plan to start a business, but that excitement has us missing the nuances involved in the journey.
By reminiscing about the next step you can discover opportunities that will lead to greater success. This also helps to cast away doubts from others, since you're more confident in the direction you're taking your business in.
How You Build Courage and Lessen Anxiety When You Pay Attention to Progress
When you pay attention to your progress, you witness the experience evolve, and how you change and adapt as you grow. Your anxiety lessens and your courage deepens.
Many people don't take that first step to achieving their goals because they see the first step as the end result. Instead of building up the courage needed to achieve their goals, they drown it with anxiety and doubt.
Ambitious goals can easily be achieved when you focus on the right step. Soon enough, everything else falls into place.
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Christine Hourd, ACC is a certified success and leadership life coach in Calgary, Alberta. She works with clients, online and in-person, to remove obstacles and create strategies to reach their personal and professional goals. Contact Christine to find out how working with an accountability coach can help you achieve your goals.