Why Living Your Values Is The Key To Increasing Your Self Worth & Reaching Your Goals
One of the biggest stumbling blocks come when you're unsuccessful at achieving your personal or professional goals. This can be a real blow to your confidence, but the best course of action is to work on ways to increase self-worth and not give up.
Having the ability and knowhow to recreate or rediscover yourself is key, especially with uncertainty looming after a negative experience, such as job loss or losing out on a promotion. The faster you can recover from a loss, the sooner you can get back on track and work on achieving your goals.
What Prevents You From Increasing Self-Worth For Professional Goals?
At the best of times, you're battling some sort of internal or external judgement, and this can have you discounting your abilities. But what's worse, is when you believe those messages—or what you assume others are thinking. And when you feel that judgement has merit, you fail to support yourself 100%.
You often try to interpret the words or actions of others, and as you take that message into your mind, you translate it into whatever you want. But when that message isn't certain, and the meaning unclear, you most often translate it into something negative.
This negative thinking has you doubting your ability to find another job, or to look at self-improvement to get the promotion next time. The longer you hold onto that thinking the less chance of getting your goals back on track.
How To Positively React To The Judgement Of Others
You don't want anyone to think this judgement bothers you, since any sign that these words or thoughts are having control over your emotions is interpreted as a sign of weakness. If you show weakness you'll be thought of as being a pushover and that someone else controls you.
To keep people from thinking that you are weak, you cover it up.
You may turn to alcohol, drugs, or shopping to make you feel better, and give the impression that this feeling of lack doesn't bother you. You give into these impulses to support you in an artificial way, but instead you're not dealing with the underlying issue, but rather, merely covering it up.
When you receive feedback from others, you take that information and can do whatever you want with it. Yet many times you get attached to the messages that tells you you aren't worthy. Instead, you block that message and tell yourself, that doesn't make sense, I am worthy, and I have proof.
One Strategy to Increase Self-worth And Start Taking Action
Whatever messages you take in you have the ability to control how you interpret them. Instead of hearing them as negative you can choose to view it as information—something more neutral. But you have to do more than changing the message.
In order to support more positive thinking, there has to be proof, or examples that you can draw that proof from. You need success stories to illustrate your worth—to bring your value front and center.
You have the tendency to support or take care of things that have value. When you start to feel you have value, you begin to take care of yourself.
What Action Can You Take To Increase Your Value?
By recording all of the wins in the past and present, and appreciate yourself for that, you begin to create a database of information convincing you of your value. And you can do this by creating a value list. Just as a gratitude list helps you to see abundance in your life, a value list helps you to see your worth in your life.
Make a point, during the day, to write down the answers to these questions:
Who have I supported today? This may have been a conversation you had with a friend to encourage them, or simply lifted a stranger's spirits with a smile. Having a positive affect on others makes you feel important and boosts your value.
What's one accomplishment from my past that contributed to my growth? You underestimate the many things that you have learned over the years, and that's because it's become automatic and sits comfortably in your unconscious mind. But at the time when you were learning, it may have been challenging. When you pay attention to those positive experiences, you provide proof that you've grown in value.
What action did I take today to acknowledge my value? Recognizing when you feel worthy, highlights that experience, and by connecting to the feeling that experience gave you creates a lasting memory.
By committing to writing a values list, you'll become more aware of the worth you bring into the world. This will also put less emphasis on what others say, or what you assume they're thinking.
Eventually you'll be able to block those negative messages and see them as being insignificant, and that they just don't make sense to pay them any attention. Once this becomes a habit, you'll be able to rebound easily in your professional goals.
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Christine Hourd is a certified success and leadership life coach in Calgary, Alberta. She works with clients to remove obstacles and create strategies to reach their personal and professional goals. Contact Christine to find out how Accountability Coaching can help you make progress in your goals.